And so it rolls

It has been a very bad, not so terrile, muddled, slow start week.

I have been trying to get out and walk. My body is in such poor shape, from fat, from falling and hurting my legs and ankles and not able to get around very well. So, I figured, walk 4 blocks to start. I actually felt better and less pain in my ankles. The next day I walked 6 blocks. Better yet, just alittle breathless, and the next day 7 blocks.

Then two days of running around, cooking etc. chores, laundry and not much else. I don't have the what it takes to sew. But my daughter took me to the new quilt store in Winthrop, "The Three Bears" and I couldn't resist buying some red and white stripe vintage fabric, and some dark blue with tiny stars. I have an idea, but it has to cook for a while in the dark recesses of my mind before it can bloom.

But too busy to walk?  I had a friend that is having a rough patch. Shes trying to behave herself but some signs of imminent stroke. Today I went to stay with her for a few hours, just so she is not alone and will not try to do something ambitious. She can't hardly set still and rest.

I on the otherhand have been feeling some crumbling in my armour. Wednesday night in church for some reason  I started thinking of my paternal grandparents and realized, its possible that I don't have a picture of them. I don't know for sure, because I have not been able to check out my external hard backup yet. But it is possible. And my brother had given me his pictures to copy  and then send back. Guess what--- ashes to ashes.
There are little bits of grit falling inside. I can feel it. Knowing me I will crash and sob when I have the biggest audience because, the humiliation of it all will try and do me in.
I just do not want to mess with the drama, trauma,headache, heartache and everything else that will bubble up and come out. What is the point anyway? Why waste the time. But the memory is starting to surface of things that are no more.

So- I have replaced a book that I have lost and Hopefully, plan on adding 15 minutes of exercise a day to  this - can we even call it, a walking program at this stage. And I bought a god pair of walking shoes that will do me in all kinds of weather. Started breaking them in to day.

The house is rising. The I-joists are mostly up on the second floor. When you step inside the doorway, the house sort of wraps its self around me and there is this good cozy feeling, just standing in it. Do I dare hope that it will actually happen.

There is a stack of garden books by the bed. Hubby says don't plan on planting pine trees again behind the house. Oh how I love Poderosas. Surely we can find a place for them somewhere. So I planned a planting of old Homestead roses along the upper drive. He says they build up dry brushy branches fast and furious and are very hard to prune. Hummm. Problems on every hand. But don't get in a stir about it. There is so terribly much to do before I can even "think" of actual work on that stuff.

The upper veggie gardens? What do I dare do. Can I get some fencing up? Yes, will have too. The dogs have been in there and I don't need their gifts left to contaminate my food. I need to think of just what is the best and first thing to do.??

Guess, as usual. I will try and sleep on it. Tomorrow, may bloom brighter.